Sometimes you forget
How amazing you are and curse the very things that make you you
You curse the brain which analyzes everything, making sense out of chaos
This same brain that insists on breaking everything down, requiring too much of your strength
The heart which goes soft for dear ones and is deeply hesitant to letting go
It’s ability to be wounded frustrates you and you hate it’s inability to spontaneously heal
You hate the mouth that insists on staying silent even in times of intense pain and anxiety
You curse it as you sit at your desk enduring a panic attack unnoticed by your colleagues
Then you hate the forgetfulness
For making you lead with a description of all that you hate about yourself
To a complete stranger, apologizing in advance for all that you are
Forgive yourself for all the times that you’ve forgotten that
This brain led you here, a foreign country with its own unique language
To this job, with travel to other lands and complex negotiations
This heart, loves ever deeply and has survived many leavings without completely scarring over
It remained open at the leavings of your parents, best friends, and lovers alike
Taking their lessons and rebuilding each time. Be patient, for it must rebuild anew.
The mouth, aided by the brain, swallowed many angry retorts and buried its pain. You needed that to survive and survive you did. It is learning to open up and thrive.
Please be patient with yourself for you are healing.
Love
Faakor
myrandomramblings808 