I have been away from this space for nearly 2 years. While there is some shame in being away for so long, most of the time has been fruitful. I tried therapy again in late 2017 and it took this time, making 2018 and 2019 much brighter. I became a home owner; I am the proud owner of a 25 year mortgage in a foreign and wintry land.
The years have been good to me. I have a home that I love, filled with things which give me joy. So many plants, current count of over 20 and growing. There have been some hurdles along the way, a dog attack in Dhaka, a faint in Nepal and a breakdown at work but I am happy on the whole.
Which makes it even odder that I am beginning to feel stagnant. “What next?” is the question keeping me awake. I yearn to be more creative, pursuing my own passions. I miss writing and I believe that my spirit yearns to be let free via this medium and others. Did I mention my plants?
I also think about the baby I want in 3 years with whom I shall travel the world. All of these keep me grounded and wanting to remain alive. Without these dreams, my faith, friends and my therapist, I am afraid I shall drown.
If a single step is what it takes to begin anew, I commit to take at least one each week. One serious look at the job sites, one written piece per week and at least one beautiful moment which leaves me breathless with joy.
I shall find my way back to myself, with love, care and gentleness.
myrandomramblings808 