Month: May 2017

We try to capture our lives’ big moments
The birthdays, graduations, wedding ceremonies, sometimes even the funerals and divorces
And these become the reel of our lives, perfect for narration by a distant yet objective voice

What happens to the moments in between? Mornings where bargains are struck so that one can get out of bed. Lonely nights filled with self doubt and questions. What am I doing? Is he right for me? Why did she have to die?
Do those moments just flutter and die in the wind?

Perhaps they are best left untouched and unarchived. Because moments like those never really leave. They are in the big smiles captured during graduations, cheerful grins at weddings and hidden in the not so shiny tears at funerals. They form a constant thread through our entire lives journey; making them uninvited guests in archived celebrations.

It sprung up in a long warm spring
Along a much used road. Fed by the fertile earth and warm sunlight, it grew in beauty. It grew so enchanting that passersby would stop to to admire it on their journeys with a few writing sonnets about its charm. Summer only made its delight that much sweeter. Winter came, stayed a little too long and the flower survived. You see, to survive, sacrifices were made, resources diverted.
Spring came once again and with it, the passersby. Revulsion replaced enchantment, though they did nothing to help. Accustomed to admiration, the flower further coiled inwards, hardening even further. It wished for winter to come. And when the days grew long and dark, it start with itself. Embraced the landscapes etched by hardship, the thorns formed in self protection, shedding the need for validation. In the Spring, it bloomed again. This time, a surrounding itself with a circle of thorns.

I have always hated people leaving me
They came knocking persistently
Until I let them in, only to stay a few moments
Then pack up and leave
I remember each moment
The pre-k bff who found more colorful pals
The cousin drowned by grief
High school best friend who found somebody else
The uncle and aunties who stopped calling
And the parents, who shelved all emotion
These days, I am the one who leaves
Pieces of me are spread out across three continents and myriad countries
With barely a backward glance for
I finally understand the truth
I am the only one who will stay