Walking Apologies

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She was the first.

Walking with head down, shoulders hunched and hands in her pockets

Eyes fixed firmly on the ground before her

Arms folded tight, in her attempt to go unnoticed

And apologize for existing

I was fourteen when we met and eighteen when we parted

You could say that four years granted me her secrets

 

They say you attract what you are

I guess, I was also apologizing for living, determined to go unnoticed

This I achieved in the years after high school

Where I built my walls so high and granted access to a select few

You might say that I began to notice the myriad walking apologies among us

So many people, sorry to have been born

Sorry for speaking, dancing, eating, breathing and for being

 

I wonder why we apologize for being

Rootlessness was her excuse and guilt was mine

Neither resulted from our actions but our birth

Birth, which we had no say in

I am learning to stop saying sorry with my every movement

No more fading into the background

Laughing a little bit lower

Dancing a little slower

I am and so I will be me

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Author: Saatoe

A Ghanaian expat trying to adult in Europe. I write to work through the ramblings of my mind. Many references to therapy, work etc. Joy is spontaneity, love, laughter, plants and laughter.

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